A Christmas Memory

Even though the Christmas Celebrations have begun,  I am feeling somewhat sad and melancholy.  Today would have been my brother Billy's 55th Birthday.  Oh how I wish I could visit him, sit and chit-chat, laugh and remember.  I miss him and try to feel peace knowing that he is in a better place. Often, I wake up  and can't believe he is really gone.  It is just so hard to let him go; to truly know that we have said good-bye for now.  I find comfort in this scripture:

It has been made known unto me by an angel,

that the spirits of all men,

as soon as they are departed from this mortal body,

yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil,

are taken home to that God who gave them life.

And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness,

which is called paradise,

a state of rest, a state of peace,

where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care and sorrow.

Alma 40:11-12

One of my favorite Christmas books is Truman Capote's memoir, "A Christmas Memory".  I love the story, especially the last few pages and today I've found comfort rereading this little treasure:

"My, how foolish I am!" my friend cries, suddenly alert, like a woman remembering too late she has biscuits in the oven.  "You know what I've always thought?" she asks in a tone of discovery, and not smiling at me but a point beyond.  "I've always thought a body would have to be sick and dying before they saw the Lord.  And I imagined that when He came it would be like looking at the Baptist window:  pretty as colored glass with the sun pouring through, such a shine you don't know it's getting dark.  And it's been a comfort:  to think of that shine taking away all the spooky feeling.  But I'll wager it never happens.  I'll wager at the very end a body realizes the Lord has already shown Himself.  That things as they are" --her hand circles in a gesture that gathers clouds and kites and grass and Queenie pawing earth over her bone-"just what they've always seen, was seeing Him.  As for me, I could leave the world with today in my eyes." 

Happy Birthday Billy!